“Our tales are spun, but for the most part we don’t spin them; they spin us”
We are all human, alive with the capacity for joy and sorrow, and the potential to thrive psychologically, which does not discriminate between gender, race, sex, age, physical ability, culture, or economic or class status. Thus, we are all of equal worth in the physical world we inhabit, able to teach and learn from each other.
As relationship seeking animals, we develop our knowledge/understanding of the world based on how we experience ourselves in relation to others in our social environment. We actively seek to be seen and understood by these others. In doing so, we make our own meaning of what we experience and understand of our immediate situation (family, social environment, culture, language). This meaning continually evolves and broadens.
Whether we thrive psychologically, or not, depends on the messages we get from experiences with important people in our lives, and from society, and how we learn to respond to them. The connections, or relationships, we make with people provide some structure to our lives. If these relationships have been/are weak, imbalanced, or easily broken, then we feel out of kilter and lose confidence in our ability know who we are and to make sense of our lives; our “tale” is no longer ours, but becomes the property of others.
The therapeutic relationship is one in which positive new or different experiences of connection with another can be experienced. One where being seen, heard and understood becomes possible and where our “tales” can be reclaimed, thereby giving us the opportunity to connect positively in a new or different way with our own “self”.